


A Backstory for Near

by ColdWarSaint



Category: Death Note
Genre: Gen, Humor, Prison, Wammy House, back story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 21:59:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9036017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdWarSaint/pseuds/ColdWarSaint
Summary: What if Near was born in prison? I asked myself a while ago. And then I wrote a fanficton where Mello discovers just this. And then, now that I am an adult, I re-wrote it as comedy. Mello discovers that Near isn't telling the truth about who he is when he sees the smaller boy covered in *gasp* prison tattoos?! Determined to find out the truth Mello goes head to head with Wammy's whitest detective in a battle of determination that will change their relationship forever.*featuring Matt.





	1. The Discovery

“Near stole my chocolate.” Mello stated.  
Matt blinked twice, not looking up from his Gameboy. “What?”   
“Near. Stole. My. Chocolate.” Mello stood up from where he was sitting on his bed.   
“Oh, yeah, okay. That’s what I thought you said.” Matt is sitting on the bed across the room from Mello’s.   
“Then why did you ask what like that?”  
“Because it’s a pretty stupid sentence, so I was giving you a chance to correct yourself.” Matt doesn’t have to make eye contact to convey the sarcasm in his tone.   
“What?!”  
“See?”   
Mello almost takes the stupid game out of his best friend’s hands and throws it across the room, but he knows that if he does that Matt will have won the point. So he crosses his arms instead and regards Matt through narrowed eyes.   
“Okay then, smartass, why is Near stealing my chocolate such a stupid idea?”  
“Ohhhh, Mello I should not have to answer that for how obvious it is.”  
“...”Whatever. Mello doesn’t need to convince Matt of anything. “I’m going to go confront him.”  
“Kay, so that’s what this is. You’re just looking for an excuse to hassle the sheep cause test scores are out again.”   
Mello goes into his battle stance. “Why don’t you just focus on your game?”  
“Why don’t you just leave Near alone if you hate him so much?”  
And normally, Matt would be right, and Mello wouldn’t be seeking out the albino, but recently Mello had learned a new skill. A skill he needed an excuse to try in real life. Who better to annoy with it than Near? He wouldn’t get as much satisfaction using it on Rodger or any of the other kids (he knew that from experience).   
“I need a more obedient roommate.” Mello says while yanking open the door to their room.  
“Anyone else would bore you!” Matt calls after his friend.   
Mello rolls his eyes as the door shuts behind him. Again, Matt is probably right.   
Near’s room isn’t hard to find. All of the doors are conveniently labeled, and it isn’t the first time Mello has passed by. With a devious smirk Mello fishes the lock picking tool he had ordered from his pocket. After weeks of testing it on his own door- and weeks of locking himself out- he was ready for a field test. If the kid was even in his room... that didn’t matter.   
With what Mello considers to be a very satisfying click the door handle gives way. He shoves the door open with enough force to send it vibrating back off the doorstop in a resounding bang.   
“FUCK YES-...” Mello’s yell is caught in his throat.  
Near has turned abruptly from where he was standing before his dresser. Currently he holds a shirt in his hands, and doesn’t have one on. But his body isn’t what caught Mello off guard. No. He is covered in marks and scars: thick welts and black ink that stand in stark contrast to his dead white skin.   
“... are those... prison tattoos?” Mello doesn’t quite know how to react. This is, very literally, the last thing he was expecting. Near having boobs would have shocked him less. Actually that one wouldn’t be very surprising...  
Near responds by pulling on the shirt he was holding and fixing Mello with a cold, grey stare. “Is there any good reason why you just broke into my room? Or did you really just want to see me undressed this badly?”  
“Near. Seriously. What the fuck is on your body?”  
“Scars. From the same accident that killed my parents. You know that. Or were you referring to my skin? I know. It’s very white, and we’ve covered that together.”   
Mello’s eyes narrow slightly, but he’s having a hard time getting as angry as he normally does. This is too bizarre. “There was ink.”  
“A trick of the light.” Near tilts his head.   
“Near. I am not an idiot.”   
“Are you sure? Have you seen today’s scores? That’s the truth Mello. I can’t explain it any slower.”   
Mello only gives a brief, harsh laugh. “There is no way in hell that you’re going to piss me off enough to forget what I saw, Near. Nice try.”  
“... if there isn’t anything you want then leave.”   
“I just want to know why you have prison tattoos. Is that what you do in your spare ti-”  
“Leave.”   
Near moves towards the door, but Mello grabs his arm.  
“Not so fast! You can’t expect me to just ignore-”  
With more strength than Mello imagined he had, Near yanks his arm back from Mello and slams the door. Mello rocks back slightly. That was waaaaay more sensitive than he’d ever seen the emotionless little brat. He must really be on to something!   
When he re-enters the room that he shares with Matt the other boy raises an eyebrow. “I know that smirk. What happened?”   
Matt hadn’t even looked up. He can just sense Mello’s mood.  
“Nothing. Just found a really interesting case to solve. One that Near definitely won’t be helping with.”   
“... do I have to help?”  
“No.”  
“Good. Come over here and mash the A button for me would you?”


	2. Into the Closet

Mello watches Near from across the courtyard, like a predator watching its prey, or, as is more accurate to his aspirations, as a detective staking out a suspect. Near’s sitting on the porch of Wammy’s house in a sunhat and sunglasses, only outside because he has to be, while solving a rubix cube repeatedly. Mello waits until his target is alone. Unprotected. Then strides over and stands above the smaller boy.  
“Near.”   
Without so much as glancing up Near responds. “What do you want today?”  
Mello can’t really blame him for being wary, but does anyways. Things being as they are, his brief idea of a “friendly approach” is never put into action.  
“I want to know about those tattoos you’re so ashamed of.”   
He looks up, easily solving the rubix cube again and again. “Really Mello? I wouldn’t have guessed that from last night. You aren’t going to stop hassling me until you have an answer. It’s the only way you get things done, isn’t it?”   
Mello smacks the stupid toy from Near’s hands, but he isn’t angry- rubix cubes just annoy him. This kind of immediate insult isn’t like the younger boy. Mello’s got him on the ropes.   
“Right. So make this easy on us both.”  
“Or what?” Near stands up. “You’ll actually do detective work? I’m not afraid of that.”   
Hard way it is. Mello grabs Near’s arm, ready this time for his surprising strength- because c’mon, he’s still tiny- and drags him inside.  
“What are you doing, Mello?”  
Mello pins him to a wall inside. And then starts unbuttoning Near’s shirt.   
“... watching me undress and now undressing me. You’re violating our relationship Mello.” Near tries to jerk free a few times, but Mello is much stronger.   
“That’s real cute Near.”   
“I’m not comfortable with being called cute by you, in this situation.”   
Mello just smirks. Near can’t deny what is clearly there, and Mello is going to prove things in a straight forward manner.   
“There.” He pulls open the unbuttoned shirt with his free hand. “Tattoos: like I said. So tell me why.”   
Near is tense. He is clearly not pleased. Mello has never felt this much power over the smaller boy.   
“My parents tortured me.”  
“Bullshit.”   
“How do you know I’m lying? What are you basing any of this off of?”   
“I’ll know when you stop lying.”  
Mello can see the determination spark in Near’s eyes at that sentence.   
“That must be how you try to solve everything for the good it does you. I did them to myself, is that a good enough answer?”  
At this point Mello realizes he’s kind of encouraging Near to blatantly lie. He sighs.  
“Lunch is in the next five minutes.” He says. “If I don’t get the truth I’m holding you here. Then everyone will see these- however the hell you got them.”  
Near gives the now empty halls a brief look at those words. A minute of silence passes before he smirks: his same condescending smirk.   
“Go ahead and do that, Mello.” He says, “Show everyone what you’ve discovered and lose whatever sense of superiority it gives you over me. Also, is this really a position you want to be in with me considering the rumors about you?”   
Damn it. Near is right- ignoring that bullshit about those rumors (they were completely unfounded). Mello yanks the boy off the wall and then down the hallway. Every single damn time the albino has to somehow have the last word. Not this time. He finds that specific utility closet with that specific door handle- the kind that you pull down to open- and shoves Near inside before spinning and axe-kicking the handle. There’s a sharp crack followed the sounds of Near trying to open the door from the inside.   
“... I.. What?”   
Mello grins and leans against the door. “I broke it. You can’t get out and I can’t get in.”  
“I can see that. Why?” The albino’s voice is muffled through the pine door.  
“Well... The only way you’re getting out now is if someone tells Rodger you’re here. And no one really uses this hallway so it’s not like yelling will help, either.”   
“Mello!”  
The blonde studies his nails. “The door’ll have to be taken off its hinges. And that can all be done before lunch if you just cooperate. If not.. Well, someone has to hear you yelling eventually right?”   
“It’s almost lunch. They’d look for me.”   
“Uh, Rodger would. But seriously? Do you trust him to find you? Everyone else probably wouldn’t try very hard. Not like you have friends. Do you even need to eat? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you-”  
“Mello. Shut up. This is already annoying enough as it is...”  
“Fine.” Mello pushes himself off the door. “Bye. See you... hmm, sometime. Hopefully.”   
“Wait! Wait. I’ll tell you. But you have to let me out. Immediately.”  
“I promise.” Mello returns to leaning against the door.   
“... it’s as good a word as I’ll get from a future criminal, I suppose. Fine. The truth is this: I was born in a prison.”  
“What?”  
“I- that’s me, Near- was- as in the past- born- something that happens after a pregnancy-”  
“I know what you meant, but- fuck that. No. It’s not true.”  
Near can be heard rolling his eyes from inside the closet. “Yes it is. Whether or not you believe it.”   
“Okay? So you have prison tattoos? Babies don’t stay in prison. You just heard about your mom’s incarceration and thought hey I-”  
“I was also raised in prison. I was 8 when I left.”   
“What. The fuck?! Near that’s a lie. In what fucking country did you just stay in prison as a baby?”   
“America.” Near’s responses are deadpan. He doesn’t seem to be joking.  
“....No.”   
“Mello. I am no longer lying. You made a deal with me. Let me out.”   
“...” Mello really can’t let this go now. “Fine. I’ll let you out of the closet. But once you’re out the two of us are not done.”   
“Please don’t phrase this situation like that.”   
Mello pushes off the door again. If Near was really going to insist that this was true he would pay hell for it. On his way to Rodger’s office he passes Matt.  
“Hey! Where did you go? Where are you going? It’s lunch.”  
Mello glances over at Matt. “I’m helping Near out of the closet. I’ll be there in a sec.” He doesn’t stop moving, so he can’t see the look that Matt gives him, or the way the other boy stops dead.


	3. Mello Perseveres

Mello paces back and forth in the room. He’s annoyed. He’d given Rodger a great story about how the stupid ice princess had ended up in a closet, but as soon as Near got out what did he do? Snitch. You know what?   
“I’m going out for chocolate.” Mello tosses at Matt.   
And Matt responds by doing the unthinkable: he pauses his video game.   
“You’re going in your pajamas?” He asks skeptically.   
Mello glances down to notice that he is, in fact, only wearing a pair of black, silk pajama pants. “It is never too inconvenient a time for chocolate.”  
“You have chocolate here.” Matt points out.   
Mello pauses to give Matt a hard look. “It’s not... fresh.”   
“What does that even mean? Like the stuff in the kitchen is gonna be any ‘fresher’?” Matt’s eyes narrow. “You’re going to kill Near for telling on you.”  
Mello laughs. “Why? Are you worried about that?”   
“Mell. You have been seriously obsessing over him. More than usual. As your friend I’m worried about you.”   
“I’m not going to kill him. I’m fine. And I can leave whenever I damn well please!”  
“That is so suspicious you- Hey! Murder is illegal!! I’m here for you! Get back- ...” Matt sighs and unpauses his video game as the door slams shut behind Mello. “That boy needs professional help.”   
Mello doesn’t care if Matt thinks he need professional help. He can’t stop thinking about Near’s stupid answer. He had to have been lying. There’s no way. He sounded serious... but he always sounded that way!   
Unlike other people, considerate people, who would have hesitated before bursting into someone else’s room with the intent of dragging their life story from them by force, Mello did not hesitate to kick open Near’s door.   
“It was unlocked.” Near comments with dismay at the cracking sound of the cheap wooden doorframe while his door bangs open.   
That surprises Mello. Near always keeps his door locked. “I don’t care.”   
“I was expecting you.”   
Smug twit always has to have the last word. Mello crosses his arms. “That’s because I told you I was coming.” Mello glances around the room. “The fuck is your second bed? Where am I supposed to sit?”   
“You’re not. I want you to leave.”   
Scoffing, Mello walks into the room anyways, and almost immediately falls over yelling in pain. Near watches him unemotionally.   
“You little piece of shit! You did this on purpose!!”   
“Mello, I play with legos all the time. My life, unlike yours, is not centered around anyone else.”   
Mello begins to forge his way across the minefield of toys. “You’re training to be next L, so that’s a lie.”  
“Why do you suddenly care so much about my life story? Why learn about your self-proclaimed enemy?”   
Mello gets to the other boy’s bed and sits down, bouncing him slightly. He ignores the boy’s questions. No way he’s going to explain himself to his rival.   
“So a prison, huh? Which prison?” Mello glares at him; he’s ready to catch any signs of lying.   
“You aren’t wearing a shirt.”   
“Well some of us have actually pajamas, and don’t just wear them all the time because we can’t be bothered. Answer the question.”   
Near sighs. Mello has demonstrated, in the entire time they have known each other, that he is stubborn to a fault. This issue is not going to be dropped if Near stays silent, and that will uselessly distract from his studies.   
“Scott County penitentiary. That’s where I was born.”   
“Uh-huh. And where is that?”   
“It’s in Montana—... are you Googling what I’m saying?”   
“Just keep talking.”   
“...” Near sighs again. “It was, as I would learn later, a very low-quality prison. The women were not very well separated from the men. We did not have many guards on the inside, and there were very few new arrivals. It didn’t work like a tradition prison, and I don’t believe it was state sponsored—”  
“Holy shit!” Mello is staring at his phone screen with shock. “This place is real—”  
“Yes.”  
“It’s really real, what the fuck? How did this even happen?! Low-quality is an understatement—”  
“Yes...”   
“This wasn’t even a state owned prison— I don’t think we should call this a prison!”   
“Mello?”   
“Freakin’ Montana! Out in the middle of nowhere, too, why didn’t this make bigger news?! You were born here?! That’s why you’re such a freak!”  
“Mihael.”  
“Hey!” Mello looks up from his phone. “Don’t call me that.”   
“There we go.” Near raises an eyebrow. “Now that you have that information you can leave. I doubt I can give you any more details than what you will read.”   
“You’ve read this stuff?” Mello scrolls through the news articles that have popped up. “Which one is the best?”   
“I lived it. I didn’t want to know anymore about it than I already do. I’ve been trying to move on.” The last part is said with a rather pointed tone.   
“So you’re the best source.” Mello sets down his phone, resolving to read more later.   
Near’s eyes narrow. “No. I am not re-living my past with a boy who jealously claims that I am ruining his life. We are not friends. You’ve said as much. I think you would be pleased by my unhappiness, and that doesn’t make me feel comfortable.”   
“I don’t care about what you think.” Mello leans back on the bed and makes himself comfortable.   
Near watches Mello in silence; he waits patiently until Mello begins to shift uncomfortably.   
“I can wait just as long as you can.” Mello finally comments. A slight smirk flits across Near’s face that makes it evident he doubts Mello.   
After almost a half hour of dead silence Mello cracks.  
“I WILL LOCK MYSELF IN YOUR ROOM AND SET IT ON FIRE!!”  
Near raises an eyebrow. “That’s longer than I thought you would—”  
“I meant lock YOU! I meant—I’ll fucking kill you.” Mello stands up and paces.   
Near shakes his head. “Wow. You’re right. I’m convinced now. I’ll tell you.”   
Mello glares. “I don’t need this.”  
“Then why are you here?” Near’s eye twitches slightly, and he quickly glances away, his hand going to his hair.   
Mello sighs. Is he really going to pursue this? He could be studying. He could just read about it online—but damnit if he hadn’t put enough effort into this to be committed!!   
“Why do you care so much?!” Mello crosses his arms. “Why’re you so sensitive about it?”  
Near just looks at him for a long moment; then he gets up, walks across the room, turns off the lights, and climbs into bed.   
“You little shit.” Mello walks over to Near’s bed and sits on him. Near makes an uncharacteristic little squeak.   
“What are you doing, Mihael?”  
“What are you doing, Nate?”   
“Sleeping...”   
“Me too.”   
Near groans and tries to roll out from under Mello. “Stop.”  
Mello crosses his arms. “No.”  
“You’re crushing me...”  
“Good.”   
“Mello....”   
“TELL ME OR ELSE!!”   
Near stops struggling. “In the... morning, okay? I will give you some of my story... because your obsession is not worth... this much interaction...”   
“Ha.” Mello grins, and scoots off of Near, moving to sit beside him on the bed. “I win then.”   
“Not in anything that matters, Mello.”   
Mello kicks him. “Move over.”   
“No...”  
Mello lies down anyways. He pulls the blanket up over his chest. “I will make sure I am told in the morning.”   
“Like I’ve said, you are violating the boundaries of our relationship.” Near turns away from Mello, who snorts.  
“Don’t flatter yourself, sheep boy.”


	4. And Matt is Jealous?

Mello wakes feeling much warmer than he usually does. He rolls over—and almost hits someone... ???   
“Matt, what’re you...” He squints. A head of snow white curls is tucked against his side. ?!?!? “What... the fuck...?”   
Near shakes his head slightly, and looks up. “Mmm...? Hmm.” He yawns widely. For a moment Mello thinks he looks kinda cute. “You’re still here. That’s quite unfortunate.” Another yawn. “And you’re too close to me...”   
Aaaaand there goes the cuteness factor. Mello kicks him off the bed.   
“There. I backed off.” He looks down over the edge of the bed at where Near is now tangled in the blanket.   
“Ow.” Near mutters, but it feels more annoyed than real. “Again. I wish you hadn’t stayed.”   
“Fuck you—”  
“Too close to home right now.” Near interjects.  
“—you promised you’d tell me.” Mello ignores his interjection.  
Near sighs. “Yes. Should we make tea first? You do realize we have to go to our classes at some point.”  
“First of all fuck tea. Really? You’re like a ten year old chill. Second, why are you worried about class I thought you were a genius.” The last part is mocking, if a little bitter.  
Near stands up and throws his blankets back on the bed, without any regard for Mello.   
“There is chocolate tea.” Near mentions, ignoring the fact that he’s older than ten: he knows how to pick his battles. “As for classes, well, I’m not the top of the class for lack of effort. Like you aren’t second place for it.”  
Mello grits his teeth. He throws off the blankets Near tossed over him and stands as well.   
“I don’t care about tea I want you to tell me now!” There isn’t any way that Mello is letting Near leave the room after that comment. The taller boy takes two steps and yanks Near away from the door. The little albino is small enough that Mello can wrap his arms easily around him.   
“Ah!” Near kicks his legs. Mello has his arms pinned. “Mello, did I strike a nerve? I knew you were sensitive about your grades, but they seem to be your own fault if this is how you use your studying time.”  
“You little bitch!” Mello goes to toss Near back onto his bed but makes a small miscalculation. Instead the smaller boy hits his desk.   
“Huh. Our rooms are set up differently.” Mello frowns.  
Near is silent.   
“You gonna get up?”   
Silence again while Near sits up, putting a hand to his head.  
“Damn it.” Mello walks over, shaking his head. Near’s white hair makes the crimson color of his blood very evident. “You can’t resist screwing me over, can you?” 

2 Hours Later 

Mello sips his chocolate tea while Near stirs his own vanilla tea. They’re sitting cross-legged across from one another.   
“My father was in prison because of a triple homicide, but he was never cruel to me.” Near starts the story calmly. There is a thick bandage around his head now. “Well, he wasn’t in prison at all, was he? I think one of the men he killed was related to the man running the place where I was born. We were not treated kindly. My father tried to protect me, but the guards had different orders. I was only a child, too. They hurt me when I wandered away from him, or when he needed to be taught a lesson.”   
Mello blinks. “Huh.”  
“My mother was insane. She was always trying to escape, or to steal me away. I think my father really and fiercely loved her, but she wasn’t someone that you could hold onto. He probably wasn’t that stable either considering his record. His relationship with her became focused around me, and that wasn’t something that I wanted because both of them used me as leverage instead of treating me as their child. I’ve never really been able to see them as ‘mom’ and ‘dad’. They were biologically connected to me, yes, but not my family.”  
“Of course. What else would happen?” Mello doesn’t think that he’s lying but... it’s some crazy stuff. No wonder Near is so jacked up.   
“I don’t appreciate your sarcasm.” Near takes another drink of his tea.   
“Still don’t care. Get to the prison tattoos.”  
“Yes, those. I didn’t want them, or the scars, but children can’t really fight off grown men. And I have always been small for my age, born prematurely. My father would fight for me, like someone who had committed a triple homicide and felt no regret, but again, my father had angered the person running the... establishment. Once they saw he cared for me they used that to hurt him. As the only child of the ‘prison’ an uncomfortable amount of attention was placed on me...” Near frowns to himself. “I matured quickly.”  
Mello glances around the toy filled room. “Suuuuureeee.”  
Near notes the look. “What can you expect of a boy with no childhood? I’m making up for lost time.”  
“How poetic. I always just thought you were a freak.”  
“There’s that. Fiddling with things helps me think. Why do you always eat chocolate?”  
“I like it.”  
Near smirks. “And you have impulse control.”   
“I don’t need to justify anything to you.” Mello retorts.  
“And I don’t care enough to stalk you to hear any attempts at doing so.” Near finishes his tea. Mello’s eye twitches slightly; he hopes he’s annoying the albino as much as he’s being annoyed.   
“So where are your parents now?” Mello tries to steer Near back on track.  
“You know how I got the tattoos. Isn’t that enough?”   
Mello smirks. “I’m not finished with my tea.”   
“Very well.” Near raises an eyebrow. “My mother died during an escape attempt. My father told me she would have killed herself anyways, that they fought too much before, and that she was mad. But he wore her wedding band around his neck. I believe he was deeply grieved. I think I must have looked like her. He protected me even more fiercely, and the guards hated me more than they had for what my mother tried to do.”  
“So is your dad still alive?”  
“No.”   
“Is that it?”  
“Do I need to clarify? I apologize I forgot that you need clarifications. He’s not alive because he is dead, Mello.”  
Mello might just strangle this kid if he keeps talking to him. “How did he die?”  
“Gunshot.” Near clearly feels that he has more than fulfilled his end of their deal. Mello sets down his own mug, its empty, what he’d said earlier about not having finished was a ruse.   
“I can find anything you don’t tell me out online, you know.” Mello says.  
Near tilts his head. “As a matter of fact that’s what I suggested you do last night. It’s okay to be a little slow to the draw. Can you bring these mugs back to the kitchen?”   
Mello stands up, knocking over his own mug. “No.”   
“As I figured.” Near stands as well and bends over to pick up both mugs.



“Where were you last night?!” Matt demanded before even saying hi.  
“I told you. I went to get chocolate. Chill.” Mello has sat down next to his best friend in the dinning room.   
“All night?!”   
“Seriously. I thought you were supposed to be the calm one of us. What, were you worried?” Mello is teasing, but Matt doesn’t seem in on the joke.  
“I don’t know maybe! But I do know when you’re lying to me.”   
Mello steals food off of Matt’s plate. He can’t tell his roommate the truth at this point… that would be kind of embarrassing at this point. Besides, the last thing he needs is to be teased about his ‘obsession’ with Near. Still, Matt had always been there for him, and he would tell Matt about Near’s weird secret after he figured out a way to tell the story of his finding out in a less creepily obsessed blackmail filled way and in a cooler more accidental way, so he decided to throw in a fragment of the truth.  
“I was in Near’s room for a bit.” Mello tries to make this seem like a very causal reveal.   
“I knew it! You hid the body that’s why you were gone and that’s why—”  
Near walks past carrying two mugs. Matt frowns.   
“… he’s right there… Mello what the fuck? He doesn’t look beaten.”  
Maybe revealing some of the truth hadn’t been such a good idea. He didn’t know how he’d expected Matt to take it. Not like this. Why was his friend so worked up?  
“We just studied all night. Calm down.”  
“YOU SPENT THE NIGHT IN NEAR’S ROOM?!”   
Mello physically tries to silence his friend.   
“Matt, calm the fuck down okay, maybe I did!”  
Some other kids are staring. Mello glares at them until they look away, hopefully out of fear.   
“Just shut up I don’t want those rumors—Nevermind. I’m still gonna be number one and that big headed albino freak is going to go down. Okay? It’s… it’s not that out of character. It was espionage.” Mello whispers harshly.   
Matt nods a few times before Mello releases him. He’s got such an odd look on his face.   
“What?!” Mello demands.   
Matt shakes his head. “It’s… nothin’. I’m calm. We’re cool, uh, Mello-yellow.”  
“Good.” Mello steals more food off of his friend’s plate. First Near was from prison and now Matt was the one who was getting emotional? He was the only normal one…  
Through one of the doors to the kitchen he can see Near struggling to reach a higher cabinet. “I’ll be right back.”  
“But Mell—”  
Mello gets up and walks into the kitchen. Near ignores him as he had ignored Matt’s confused protest. Without so much as a word Mello reaches up and retrieves Near a single apple.   
“Here.”   
Near accepts it. “You could have tried kindness as your first approach. You’re not quite smart enough to pull off being disliked.”  
Mello’s eyes narrow. Near had been uncharacteristically cruel since the prison was brought up. Normally he wasn’t the one who went out of his way to mock Mello. The fact that he felt the need to now made Mello feel like the lengths he took were worth it. Near deserved to feel some of the frustration he had felt for so long in his shadow. That was only fair.   
“Enjoy it.” Mello doesn’t bother to stay and wait for a retort.   
Matt, when Mello returns, has that odd look on his face again.   
“Are you jealous?” Mello doesn’t quite believe it, but Matt is really making it seem that way.  
“No I’m… confused. Since when do you do anything with or for Near?”   
He’s definitely jealous. “Matt. Seriously. Near is not my friend. Not even remotely. You know me well enough to know that.”  
“I thought I did.”  
“Don’t you dare start with that kind of dramatic bullshit.”  
“Cause you’re never dramatic.” Matt rolls his eyes.   
“I can still murder you in your sleep and make it look like an accident.”  
“Not if you’re off cuddling Near.”  
“Maybe I won’t wait until you’re asleep.”   
“Anything is better than watching your budding roma—ah! Mell!! Hey!!”


	5. Too bad Crying is Pathetic

Mello spent some of his precious study time on a new subject, one that he felt was ridiculously under-reported on: the prison Near was born in. It was one of L’s old cases that had been taken care of by some government authority after a few local sources wrote stories on it. One of those things that, despite being almost unreal, was not widely known about. Something that the government had had some sort of shady involvement in and wasn’t very proud of.   
For a few days Mello stayed clear of Near, but he wasn’t done with him yet; he needed to gather up ammunition before another confrontation. In the stories online, the files he stole from Rodger’s office once he read L’s name, and the trials of the men and woman who’d run the prison, Mello found more than enough information on Near’s fucked up childhood. And fucked up it had been.  
Near’s blank nothing made a whole lot of sense to Mello now. Hell, if he’d been through all Near had he’d probably repress his emotions too. Of course there was always the idea that Near might just be a sociopath… he wouldn’t discount that. Still, Mello had a hard time believing Near could be so incredibly nonchalant. He’d spent more time inside of that prison than out of it at the age of 15, and he spoke as though it were simple a mess of facts with no more significance than reciting the digits of pi.   
On some level, a deep, visceral, and angry place inside him that was born of toiling so long and hard to compete with natural skill only to feel tossed aside by a child that didn’t have to try, he wanted Near to admit that life sucked. That he felt just as much pain as anyone else. That he felt suffering the likes of which kept Mello up and studying and praying every night. That pressure and life got to him like it got to anyone else.   
All that to say that when Mello went to Near’s room on that third night—after waiting for Matt to leave for something before sneaking out, so he didn’t have to explain himself—he had a very specific goal in mind.   
“You left the door unlocked again.” Mello notes when he enters.   
Near doesn’t look up from the near impossibly intricate castle of cards he’s building on his rug. “No. It’s still broken from your last unfortunate visit.”  
“I’ve come prepared this time.”  
“And what do you mean by that?”   
“I’ve researched your past.”   
Another card atop the ever growing spires. “Congratulations. You should have done that on your own time in the first place. I was hoping you meant you’d made the tea this time.”   
“You were raped.”  
Near freezes. His hand hangs halfway in the air, the card between his fingers shivering slightly. Mello has started off this encounter with a power play. Near recognizes that and still… he really has done his research. The hesitation is longer than it has been.  
“Yes.” Near says it dryly. As though checking it off on a list: Rape. Yes. Fact.  
He sets the card on top of one of the walls of his castle.   
Mello circles around him, but there are no openings so he settles to looking down over the lowest wall.   
“Your father was shot when the prison was found out and raided. They tried to kill everyone. They found a boy under one of the bodies. I’m guessing you hid there. Seems bloody. But logical.”  
Another two cards on the wall before a reply. He can hear what Mello wants in the way he’s attacking.   
“Yes.” Death. Blood. Yes. Fact. Fact. “You did more then read what was online.”  
“Yeah.” Mello leans in closer. “I broke into Rodger’s office too. I know all these details about what happened to you that I’m not sure you wanted me to.”   
“I wasn’t hiding anything. I simply did not want to relive—”  
“I can see why. This is all super fucked up. You must be really fucked up.”  
Near, without a sound, sighs. “Mello I am more than aware of my own issues. I have studied what traumatic experiences do to the mind. I know how I would have been affected—”   
“Have been affected.” Mello leans back, confident. “Self-diagnosis isn’t a cure.”  
This time his words have the desired impact: Near flinches. The card he was trying to place dips too low, too hard, and the walls around him fall. Cards scatter across the floor with a soft fluttering, and they come to a rest against Mello’s feet. He raises an eyebrow.   
“Why…” Near pauses, surveying the remnants of his castle. “… do you want to break any illusion of what’s keeping me sane?”   
That isn’t the response Mello was expecting. “I just want to know—”  
Near has tears running down his cheeks. It’s something that Mello had never known the other boy capable of. He is confronted with the reality that everyone does suffer, and it is not something that comforts him as he thought it would. This time he does not have the luxury of being the victim. In proving that everyone could suffer he’d only caused more suffering…  
Damnit why the hell couldn’t he just win?! Just one time? Just ONE thing?! Why couldn’t he have this!!  
“Crying is pathetic.”  
“I’ve always thought so.” Near begins to recollect his cards with steady hands. Tears are dripping down his chin.   
Mello’s eyes narrow. He can’t do this… Near is a literal fucking child. Hell! He was a child! And what was he doing in this place that was supposed to protect and raise children? Trying to manipulate a younger boy who has been beaten and raped into admitting that he’s depressed about it because of some sadistic complex borne from feeling like an inadequate fucking human being all the time because of someone else’s natural talent in one area!   
Mello kneels down and begins picking up cards as well. “Near… what exactly did Wammys do about your past?”   
“They told me what I’m confident they told you: why I was chosen and what the mission of this place is.” Near wipes his nose on his sleeve. “I didn’t expect my tears to make you… surrender your objective. Though I suppose this was your objective. Either way, I did not expect any vulnerability to be met with calm.”  
“They didn’t offer you a damn thing? Not even therapy?”  
“Mello, I have always been able, even from a young age, to control—”  
“Bullshit Near! Look at you!” Mello stands and moves to retrieve one of the small, empty cardboard boxes that Near has piled atop his toy chest. “And I don’t just mean the tears. You have zero social skills, repressed emotions, and you obsessively play with toys. You are a freak.”  
No one has ever accused Mello of being too comforting.  
“We chase the same goal. I would take into consideration that you are as well.” Near takes some of the boxes that Mello brings over. His eyes and nose are pink.   
“Sure.” Mello crosses his arms, and for once he isn’t scowling down at the other boy. He’s just realized something that had never occurred to him before; something he hadn’t been taught to consider in a place that told you to consider everything. As soon as he had seen those tears he’d been forced to see Near. Not just a tormentor, or a perfect child, or as someone who was standing in the way of his dream, but as someone else who hurt. And who was hurting the two of them? This place. The same expectations that warped BB and drove his best friend to suicide.   
“We don’t have to be okay, ya know.” Mello says without thinking. Near stops what he’s doing. “We don’t have to be L.”  
“But... if I fail, if I can’t be—”   
“Good enough? If you can’t be perfect?” Mello kneels down so he can meet Near’s eyes. “Yeah.”   
Near looks away from Mello’s calm and penetrating gaze. He seems to want to say something, to respond to this abrupt change in Mello but a hiccup breaks this intent. A hand comes up to cover his mouth as a sob racks his small frame.   
Mello watches him try to contain his break in emotion for a moment before awkwardly reaching out a hand. Near is not an enemy anymore…. He is an ally now. They have a common enemy. Mello defends his allies.   
Near does not notice the hand. He’s folded in on himself, and would be more than content to get himself back under control without any interference.   
Damnit… Mello can’t catch a break today. When has he ever let the other boy get his way? With a kind of disgruntled look Mello scoots closer and puts an arm around Near before, rather aggressively, pulling him against his chest.   
“Agh!” Near freezes, chocking on one of his sobs.   
“Just keep crying you idiot.” Mello growls, patting him on the back when he coughs a few times. “It’s my fault you—”   
“HHHYYAAAAHH!!” The door slams open with a loud bang. “I KNEW YOU’D BE IN HE—”  
Matt stops dead, his jaw drops. Surely the two other boys holding each other in the middle of a half swept up pile of cards doesn’t confirm the small creeping suspicion he’d had in the back of his mind…  
“Mello… I... I didn’t know that you and Near were—”  
“If you mention those rumors I’ll kill you right here and now!” Mello jerks up while yelling this, crushing Near closer to his chest, and turning a dark shade of red.   
“Dude, uh, I wasn’t thinkin’ of the rumors you two are literally—”  
“WHAT? Doing what?! Hugging?! What’s wrong with hugging someone who needs to be comforted, Matt, huh, you bastard?!”   
Matt seems rather ataken back by all of this commotion. Normally he’d have a snappy remark ready. This time he can only manage:  
“Uh… is Near crying?”   
Mello hmphs and his hold on Near relaxes enough that the little white things can take a proper breath. “Yes. He is. It’s a long story that I would have eventually told you if you weren’t so rude and went around making assumptions!”  
“Well tell me now!”  
Near sighs and closes his eyes. “I’m surprised he hasn’t already been told.”   
“I’ll tell you later, Matt.” Mello ruffles Near’s hair in a way that looks rather unpleasant. “I don’t want him to have to relive it.”   
Evidently Mello is unfazed by being a complete hypocrite. This evening has gone a way that Near had not predicted…   
“Are we like… friends with Near now?” Matt makes himself comfortable on the bed. “And not, for you, just to clarify in a romati—”  
“MATT!!”  
“Kewl.”   
“What is your obsession?! Are you in love with Near?!” Mello is again crushing poor Near.   
“Why?! Would you even care Mell?!”  
“Am I supposed to care?! Why would I?!”   
“Because you’re in love with me!!” Matt jumps up.   
“… what?”   
Matt turns red. They sit there in awkward silence until a small, unfamiliar noise distracts them. No one here has ever heard Near laugh before…   
“Seems unnatural.” Mello mutters, loosening his grip enough that Near can lean back.   
“You two are so…” Near shakes his head. “It’s…”   
Another little sob between laughs. Mello and Matt exchange a look.   
“I just wouldn’t have thought.” Near says. “I wouldn’t have predicted… And that feels so—It feels.”   
“Cause you’re not as smart as you think you are you little bitch.” Mello says in the fondest of ways.   
“I always kinda liked Near, anyways.” Matt is relieved that the subject was changed. He knows Mello will… bring it up later.   
“Of course you did.” Mello grumbles. “You’re the worst friend I’ve ever had.   
“I’m the only friend you’ve ever had.” Matt grins. “At least, I was. We’ve got Near now.”   
“I… don’t know if I want to be—”  
“We can be the three amigos!”   
“Don’t move too fast, Matt.” Mello says. “He’s just crying into… my arms.”  
“The three… gay amigos?”  
“Matt! God damn—Matt. Why are you even here?”  
“I’m spying on you.”  
“I didn’t mean in this room I mean, gah— Near’s probably asexual anyways.”   
With a small, helpless smile Near finally allows himself to relax against Mello’s chest. Is this what having friends is like? Being constantly annoyed, teased, and forced to feel even when you don’t think you can anymore? Is this what is feels like to have someone else care…?   
Feels good.


End file.
